living intentionally: friendships. self.
I think I have decided that I will expand a little bit more on living intentionally-- but I will do it by topics. I guess they are topics that I have just separated in my head as areas that I can be more improved, and intentional about life. (disclaimer: the following may be considered verbal diarrhea, but they are my thoughts- so read at your own will)
Friends.
I am an extravert-- I know that is just a HUGE surprise for most of you-- (ok, if you are surprised you don't know me at all!!) So, friends are a big deal. I have always had lots of people who I call friends. I have always been involved in lots of things..... until I graduated from college. Then my life became work. I had a job that didn't allow me a schedule to get involved in a diversity of activities-- nor did I really know where or what to get involved in. The things I could always think of pertained to my job. So my social life & work & faith were all in one big lump. Not that they should be separate-- but when you feel like everything is your job-- it's not good.
So now that I am married-- working a new job--- involved in a faith that's real and sincere-- what does my social life look like? Pretty non-existent! I know part of that is getting older, part of that is being unmotivated and uninvolved, part of that is my own fear of giving and being burned again, part of it is just change in life & location.
I want to focus on friendships and connecting with people in 2008. I want to recognize this as something that energizes me- something that is important to me (and Ryan). So we want to be intentional about getting involved in a house church (small group). I want to be intentional about following up with friends, encouraging them (and not just counting on them). I think in giving in this way-- I will become again more grounded than I have been in the past few years. I want to be fully present in all my relationships-- not worried about what else is going on, what's next, etc-- simple be in the moment.
Self.
oh where do I start--- this should be a whole post in itself-- but in reality these things are all interrelated and will help me live intentionally.
On our wedding day, one of the only parts of the message I remember was Chris (our pastor) talking about Ryan and I sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs when we are older and realizing that each day we had been married- we woke up and were the best person we could be, as well as we did our best to help the other person be the best they could be.
For being the only part I remember-- I haven't done my part very well. (Now, before some of you quickly sigh and respond that's not true). I am a good wife. I am supportive, hardworking, loving and encouraging. That is not what I am talking about. In the almost 3 years we have been married most of it has been rough. In the first year-Ryan lost his job right before we got married. I was sick almost the whole year (depressed, fatigued, memory loss, weight gain, stomach issues), a year filled with diagnosis after diagnosis. Finally in the second year they figured it out, I lost my job, we moved, I got a new job. This year has been the best yet- even with devastating news of fertility issues. We are just starting to really feel grounded I think. The area I want to focus on in 2008 is being the best I can be. Focusing on taking care of myself. Focus on getting healthy. I know that is "everyone's resolution". But for me it's more than a weight loss issue. It's a mental issue. It's a discipline issue. It's a respect for myself and God issue.
All in all (if you are still reading)-- I want each day to be about being intentional- being present in the present-- not worried about tomorrow or stressing about what happened yesterday. I don't want to just react to life- I want to thinking through decisions and how they will effect me, those around me. I believe I have a renewed gift this year--- that's my life, my personality- and my relationships. I want to live in those things & build on those blessings.
Do here is to the present!
Friends.
I am an extravert-- I know that is just a HUGE surprise for most of you-- (ok, if you are surprised you don't know me at all!!) So, friends are a big deal. I have always had lots of people who I call friends. I have always been involved in lots of things..... until I graduated from college. Then my life became work. I had a job that didn't allow me a schedule to get involved in a diversity of activities-- nor did I really know where or what to get involved in. The things I could always think of pertained to my job. So my social life & work & faith were all in one big lump. Not that they should be separate-- but when you feel like everything is your job-- it's not good.
So now that I am married-- working a new job--- involved in a faith that's real and sincere-- what does my social life look like? Pretty non-existent! I know part of that is getting older, part of that is being unmotivated and uninvolved, part of that is my own fear of giving and being burned again, part of it is just change in life & location.
I want to focus on friendships and connecting with people in 2008. I want to recognize this as something that energizes me- something that is important to me (and Ryan). So we want to be intentional about getting involved in a house church (small group). I want to be intentional about following up with friends, encouraging them (and not just counting on them). I think in giving in this way-- I will become again more grounded than I have been in the past few years. I want to be fully present in all my relationships-- not worried about what else is going on, what's next, etc-- simple be in the moment.
Self.
oh where do I start--- this should be a whole post in itself-- but in reality these things are all interrelated and will help me live intentionally.
On our wedding day, one of the only parts of the message I remember was Chris (our pastor) talking about Ryan and I sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs when we are older and realizing that each day we had been married- we woke up and were the best person we could be, as well as we did our best to help the other person be the best they could be.
For being the only part I remember-- I haven't done my part very well. (Now, before some of you quickly sigh and respond that's not true). I am a good wife. I am supportive, hardworking, loving and encouraging. That is not what I am talking about. In the almost 3 years we have been married most of it has been rough. In the first year-Ryan lost his job right before we got married. I was sick almost the whole year (depressed, fatigued, memory loss, weight gain, stomach issues), a year filled with diagnosis after diagnosis. Finally in the second year they figured it out, I lost my job, we moved, I got a new job. This year has been the best yet- even with devastating news of fertility issues. We are just starting to really feel grounded I think. The area I want to focus on in 2008 is being the best I can be. Focusing on taking care of myself. Focus on getting healthy. I know that is "everyone's resolution". But for me it's more than a weight loss issue. It's a mental issue. It's a discipline issue. It's a respect for myself and God issue.
All in all (if you are still reading)-- I want each day to be about being intentional- being present in the present-- not worried about tomorrow or stressing about what happened yesterday. I don't want to just react to life- I want to thinking through decisions and how they will effect me, those around me. I believe I have a renewed gift this year--- that's my life, my personality- and my relationships. I want to live in those things & build on those blessings.
Do here is to the present!
3 Comments:
Amen Sister! haha!
I hear you on the feeling tired of just reacting to life. Very well said. I'll be praying for you and your re-energized perspective on this journey. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
this is a really great post... its so hard to make friends when you are older and already on such a different path in life... and yet sometimes it feels as though everyone around has those close friends...
i did love this post! intent is good to keep clear!
You should check out wendyjans.com - she has a song called "Today" that is really good and speaks a lot to what your blog is saying.. the chorus states, "I want to live with intention... I want to open my eyes... because the beauty in this world deserves my attention because today... is today..."
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