Still no news... but a new idea

We went back to the neurologist yesterday- we thought maybe since he called us in that he had an answer.... no. Basically they did my spinal tap in such a way that gave them inaccurate pressures. If they do it again they will have to do it differnt and under xray cause I am too fat... however that is part of the problem-- it's also not helping that I just keep gaining weight since I have been home. It's soo frustrating.

Anyway after the Dr. I stoped by work yesterday to get my w2's so we could file taxes. We also wanted to tell the staff the latest word. Rony (one of our pastors) offered to do a relaxation/prayer / healing thing on me. He I am game for anything. so last night we went back to her house and I spent an hour laying on a masage table as she layed her hands on different parts of my body, praying as I did the same. It was the strangest thing I have ever done but relaxing and at one point when she was holding my head I felt like liquid was pouring out of all my poors on my head. It was so crazy.

But here is my new Idea. I know i need to relax. But as she was holding different parts of my body I was praying for what I wanted God to do wtih those parts. Everything from my head to my hand, to my shoulder, feet and belly. Kelli this is spiraling off your idea of journaling. I am going to make a journal of me and each day I am going to focus on "giving up" to God one part of my body. I realized last night that I even want to pray for my ovaries-- that they will make babies some day. That my hands will be hands that love, serve and spread joy. That my brain will be one that thinks clearly but more importatly has thoughts of compasssion, joy-- LIke the thoughts that used to flow soooo freely from me. So that's my project. To sketch, and journal me-- in all my hopes and dreams.

I think that's the most real way for me to give it up & Pray for His healing and guidance.

ck