Welcome back to my life!

I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it feels to even be slightly closer to "me" again. By that I mean my real self. After months of feeling like I was having an out of body experience I feel like we might be on the swing homeward. Still no final answers - but candida (a yeast infection in your colon) is what seems to be the root of all this-- the rash on my face, the weight gain, the headaches, the memory loss, the achyness, the confusion, the loss of energy, etc. The blood tests were run 2 weeks ago and we still don't have the results- but when I asked her about my face (red itchy rash all over my face , eyes, chin) that wasn't getting better - she said it seemed to be yeast. Kinda gross when you think about the traditional sense of a yeast infection- but she thinks it all linked..... she put me on meds- and while I am not feeling perfect-- I can tell I am begingin to feel better. The official results will be in this week. hopefully today or tomorrow.

What's this mean for my future--- I CAN"T EAT ANYTHING!! Ok-- that's an exageration-- but nothing containing wheat, yeast, dairy, or fruits and veggies that have high mold tendancies. Which really norrows it down-- no condiments to enhance those things left i can eat either. I guess when the blood work comes back i get an official diet since there are so mnay restrictions.

It will be interesting-- but if I know it will work I will be able to drive myself to stick to it! It's funny how something in what seems like one part of your body can take over your whole self. Today Beth (sj'er) gave us a new challenge-- who would you seek and what would you want to happen if you woke up with amnesia?

I know first and formost from the last few months that Ryan would be there every step of the way wanting to make it better. I would want him to tell me everything-- but I think he would stick to the good things-- then take a funny perspecitve on the rest. He would likely go to my scrapbooks-- he is so encouraging about my passions. He would tell me of my dreams. He would tell me of a great future God has planned for us. He would probably even tell me that he thinks I am crazy for falling in love with him. He would make sure I talked to Erin and Maria who would inform me of crazier days in my life. Then make sure I was surrounded by family and friends as I struggled to regain myself. It's such a foreign idea - amnesia- but as I type this I think it's crazy how similar Ryans actions would be to what he has been doing to care for me and love me over the past several weeks. I feel so blessed that he is who he is and would go to the hard times and the joyous times. It's exactly what i want- and need.

I am so blessed in many ways today- and hopeful that this is a stage of welcoming me back to my own life!